Violet had been avoiding telling this story. It hurts to even think about it. She tried to go around it, bury it, but it always came to the surface. Violet knows it is time to finally hear it. She finds it painful to even think about this person. Perhaps because this was a person who she trusted with all her heart.
He was somebody she thought she knew. They have known each other since she left her ‘parents’ behind as a teenager. She was in a very dark place at the time, which was not unusual considering the hell she went through.
They quickly became friends (or so she thought), despite him joking about her. She brushed it off as a joke and ignored it. She only knew abuse, not love, so it was normal for her. She did not notice that he was being condescending at times, that he made fun of her clothes and that he was always looking down at her. She believed he was her friend. He confided in her about his mental health struggles, and she was always there to help and listen.
Years went by and Violet met her future ex-husband. They moved in together and life was pure bliss. At least this is what she believed in her dreamy head. You see, Violet loves love. She believes in the general goodness of people. She believes in deep love. She still strongly believes that people are good, despite everything that has happened to her. I do not understand how she does it.
But this is Violet. She is a dreamer, a believer and she has a big heart.
Over the years, her warm heart filled with bruises and pain. Scars show where she has been very well. But she is not ashamed of them. She proudly wears them. They are like rays of sunshine coming through dark clouds.
Despite all her strength, she feels the betrayal. She only became aware of it recently. She was noticing how he communicated with her. She also had to admit to herself that he was not the person she thought he was. She constantly apologized for him when he ‘couldn’t make it’ to visit her. Unexpected things happen, she thought. It’s life. It happened only once that he visited her. It was her birthday party. He stayed over that night. When she woke up the next morning, she noticed he left. No call, no explanation. She called him to ask what happened and he already had an excuse ready. She still defended him. It is easier than facing the truth.
However, during the time he ignored her, she had time to think. He knew very well that she was in the process of healing, that she struggled with getting out of bed every single day. He knew she was in pain. Nevertheless, he never bothered to check on her. When he called unexpectedly after weeks had passed, he behaved as if nothing was wrong. He wanted to talk to her about the weather and other unimportant things, or he shifted attention to him.
Months went by and holidays arrived. Violet was alone, she does not have a family to visit. Her family is only a family on her birth certificate. He was aware of this. He knew that she would spend holidays alone again. He did not call once. He did not even wish her happy holidays. Violet decided to ignore as well.
This was a year when Violet discovered and learned a lot. It was another painful lesson, and she was getting tired of them. She only wants to be wanted, loved, and to live in peace. To catch a break. Violet is afraid this will never happen.
So where does Violet go from here? She would continue to dance and taking back things that were stolen from her when she was only a child.
Those scars? They sparkle in the light and shine through the dark. They are like track marks and they are there to remind her that she will get through this. She always does.
Her heart and soul have no doubt about it.
